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Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Don't Judge yourself through someone else's eyes


  So today we are going to be talking about confidence, self esteem and not judging yourself. Now having confidence, self esteem and judging yourself has to do with Psychology because it has to do with who you are and where you came from that defines you. This blog post will talk to  young girls of all ages and young women for the most part.  I have younger sisters, and I don't want them going through middle school, high school, college, life, thinking that they are ugly or thinking that they will never get a guy to like them, or thinking that the only way to get a guy to like them is by dressing inappropriately and just lowering their standards to meet the needs of others. I want them to have confidence in who they are inside and out, and to have good self esteem  and to understand that who they are is unique. Now I know we all have judged someone and I'm sure we have all been judged sometime in our lives, but that shouldn't affect how we live our lives.  Now a personal story, awhile back, I was going through something and I was really down, and I cried all the time, and I was just in a bad place; and when I would ask my husband why he was so upset with me, he said it was because he couldn't understand why I let things get to me.  He wanted to know where the confident woman was that he married.  The woman that didn't care what other's thought about how she dressed, or who she married and more.  And he was right, where had that woman gone? The answer to that question was, I didn't go anywhere, I just lost who I was because I let what other people said about me, get to me and make me sad.
  Having confidence in yourself will go a long way in your life. Now some people may disagree with me but a lot of times, the one thing a man looks for in a woman is if she is confident in who she is. Men have this thing of being confident and not caring what others think, but for some reason women just don't have that.  We seem to care more about what others think about how we dress and how we look than anything else and what's the point of caring about those things?  If a guy really loves you, he will love you for you, not for what you are wearing or how your hair looks or your body image. Don't judge yourself through someone else's  eyes. Embrace your real beauty, have confidence in yourself and carry yourself with good self esteem, because the person you are is unique and no one looks like you.  If you have a scar or a birth mark, be proud of it, don't hide belongs to you, it uniquely defines you. God made us different for a reason.  If he wanted us all to look the same, then he would have created us to look the same. Embrace your ethnicity, the color of your skin, the way you were raised, etc.  Don't change yourself just to make others happy because you will never be happy that way.  If you do that, then every time someone says something, you will want to change yourself because you think they are right, and they are not right. Some good ways to improve your confidence.
   A good way to improve your confidence, self esteem, and help you with just dismissing what others say to you is to look in the mirror and say I am beautiful inside and out.  If you say that to yourself every day and believe every word that you are saying, that will help you so much.  Another way is to go natural.  I'm African American and I have very knotty hair and it can be really hard to do, but I love it anyway.  I've been going natural because I personally don't like wearing fake hair. I know I am beautiful the way I am, and my hair is only a tiny part of who I am. So go natural; don't wear make up everyday.  Most days I don't wear make up, and my husband seems to like it when I don't because he says that I am beautiful without it. I love my natural beauty and you should too.  Now that doesn't mean you can't ever wear make up, just try to take one day out of a week and don't wear any.  Get used to liking who you are on the outside, because it's who you are. If you like yourself on the outside, then it will show on the inside by your confidence and your inner beauty and personality. Some other ways are writing little notes to yourself to help you build up your self esteem and your confidence like I have a beautiful body, and maybe wear a dress that day that makes you feel good about your body type.  What ever you do, don't lower yourself down to what other's think of you because you are you, you are unique and beautiful and no one can be like you. Remember:  Don't judge yourself through someone else's  eyes, and Embrace your real beauty, have confidence in yourself and carry yourself with good self esteem, because the person you are is unique and no one looks like you. 

Question to Answer:

What are things you can do to not judge yourself or others?  Tell me in the comments below.