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Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Being a Mom is my true Passion

  So i'm 25, married with a child...and here is my story about my passion. This might be a little un organized, but right now my 18 month old is sitting with me so I'm multitasking.  I grew up not knowing who my biological parents were.  I knew their names, but that was pretty much all I knew.  My name is Marvina and my biological dad's name is Marvin (hence where I got my name).  My dad died when I was really young, before I knew he was my dad, and I was in a foster home until I turned about 3 and a 1/2-4 years old.  At about 4 and a 1/2 years old, I got adopted by this wonderful family, who are still my family as of today.  I was not the favorite, however I was not the least favorite, my mom tried her best to treat us all equally, since she had 12 of us kids to try and make happy each and every day which is a hard job.  My childhood was pretty good and just like any family we had our disagreements, but we also had our joyous moments. At around 17 or a little earlier not sure, I had something happen...the pass away of my grandmother.  My grandmother was's where we spent a lot of our childhood growing up.  She was like my mom in a way that she loved kids and wanted to do what she could for any child that crossed her path.  Whenever we would go over there, we would bake cookies or cook dinner or was awesome...but she passed away suddenly, and there it all started.  Now through school years I also struggled with ear infections that would last about a week at a time, I got into an accident that almost left me dead...and I also have this weird health problem with my stomach. I get really bad stomach these are not just normal stomach aches, they can often get so bad, that I can't even sit up in my bed to even get out and do normal things like go to the bathroom.  I would cry because I was in so much pain that I would often ask my mom if she could cut my stomach out.  I never thought that there could be any other pain close to it.  It never stopped me from going to school, but it did stop me from going to events, and hanging out with my friends, because it would come at unexpected was even worse than period cramps, and I get those pretty bad.  I just didn't know how to deal with it.  I would go to the hospital and they didn't know what to do, they would say go on a fiber diet or try this or that, and it would never work...I just finally realized that this was something that I would have to live with the rest of my life and I have.
     Well fast forwarding to about age 19, I fell into depression and anxiety. So many things happened since I was in college, and a sorority and I had a boyfriend who at the time was just too controlling and clingy and I ended up doing so not some nice things.  When I got stressed, I would have these like anxiety/panic attacks and they would be really bad.  I would hyperventilate and cry because I was so unhappy, then I would fall into depression and stay there for weeks sometimes months.  It was awful..and so bad that I was told I had to see a therapist.  She really helped me deal with my issues that I was having, since at that age period I also lost my cousin to suicide.  a year or so after that, my boyfriend at the time broke up with me, or actually I broke up with him and then he told my friend that he tried to commit suicide himself, and if it wasn't for his mom, he would have succeeded.  I was so mad because that is one thing that I feel is one of the worse things you can do; no matter how sad or upset you are.  I got into youth group with my friends and that was amazing, but because I was so unhappy with school...I again got into some really bad things.  I even went to a city with  a guy I didn't know, and he did not treat me so well.  It was learning experiences like that, that have made me a better person and a better mom.  My own parents don't even know any of this, because I didn't let them in...I didn't think they would understand.  Fast forwarding to now...I am a mother of a toddler and there is nothing better than that.  That is my passion right now...Being a mother is the most rewarding thing anyone could do, and I can't imagine being anything else.  I always told myself that since I never knew who my biological parents were and I never had a connection with them, I would make sure that my child did.  I think divorce happens and I know there are reasons for it, but I have a belief in me that if by anything I had to go through that, my child would still know who is biological parents were because I fee that is one of the most important things in a child's life.  Being a mom is something that I was always scared of.  Going back to my stomach issue, I was always afraid of having a child...but  I ended up having one and he's the most precious and amazing child in the world, and being a mom is the most amazing feelings ever...My passion is being a mom and I can truly say that if I didn't go through the experiences that I  went through, I wouldn't be as great of a mom as I am today.  My child has gone through therapists, to having tortocollis which is where there is a flat spot in the back of the head, and he had to have a helmet for almost a year, to just being a very active little boy.  I will always cherish him and I will do what I can to be the best mother I can possibly be because my child needs me.  Being a mom is not a chore, but a reward because you get to see a child grow up and you can teach them everything you know, but above all else, you have someone who will always need you and love you no matter what you do, and that is just an amazing feeling.  I always admired my mom for adopting all of us, and I'm so glad that she raised me to so well where I can learn to put the past behind me and teach my own child what I have learned.  So hope you enjoyed this and here are some pics: My child's name is case you didn't know.

Question to answer:
What is your passion? Share in the comments today.