You are not alone

Hello everyone and welcome back to another blog post.  I feel like I say that all the time, but it just sounds better than trying to come up with something that makes no sense.  So today I decided to do something different.  I almost never do this...and I don't put myself out there especially with my singing. The song I chose to sing a cover on is called I am not alone by Kari Jobe.  Kari jobe is a christian artist, who to me is amazing.  Her voice is so refreshing and calming and you can tell she just speaks from the heart.  I love watching her videos on youtube, and this song specifically has just been amazing.  You are not alone.  No matter what you are going through, God is here, and he is listening to you.  He hears everything you say, pray, do, whatever.  And I just want to encourage all of you out there to just seek him and find him and ask him to come into your life.  He is an amazing God and he doesn't want you to feel alone.

Note to see the video: click here:  https://youtu.be/foUd7fvX3bw

or just keep reading til the bottom there's the video.  Hope you all like it.

Isaiah 41:10

10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Psalm 73:23

Yet I am always with you; you hold me by your right hand.

These two verses are in the video, but I also want to point them out here in the blog post, because I don't think that anyone should feel like they are never heard, or that they feel like no one cares, about them because God cares about you.  He cares about you even if you think there is no reason why he should, he cares.  Be blessed today, and hopefully this just brings a calming smile and assurance to someone that God is always there for you.

Balancing being a Mom, a college student, and a wife

Hello everyone and welcome back to yet another blog post.  Today we will be talking about how I balance being a mom, a college student and a wife, because if any of you have children, you know that just getting time  to yourself can be quite a challenge.

So ever since I had a child, he has been my whole world.  Pretty much my life revolves around him, but then I had to figure out how I was going to continue with my school work, still make time for my husband and still make time for my child. It can be pretty difficult when you know things need to get done, but your child wants your attention, your husband wants your attention, you have to do homework or take a test and all you want is a break, even if it's only for 5 minutes...but it's life and it's something that we have to learn how to balance.  So for me there are things that I do that kind of help a little with the demands of everything. If you use any of these, let me know...and even let me know what you do use to help out with the ciaos of life.




1) Use a planner/notebook/agenda-I use a planner because it's a way for me to just keep track of everything.  In my planner I put in my homework assignments for that week, my child's doctor's appointments and therapy sessions, events that my husband and I may have planned, family things...anything that I need to remember, I put in a planner.







2) Write it on a Fridge-I also write things on my fridge.  We bought our fridge when we rented our apartment, so it's ok if I write on it.  I use a dry erase marker and just write what I need to remember..for example important numbers...etc.  It's just another way of me remembering what I need to know...in case I don't get the chance to put it in my planner or notebook.










3) A Clock- I also use a clock.  This is because I need to know when something is, and if I have a clock, I can look at it and know if I'm going to be early, late, what time do I have to leave, what time does my child need to be up for an appointment or therapy session, etc

4) Make sure your child is in bed at a certain time. I make sure my kid is in bed no later than around 11pm, so that I can make time for my husband.  Now I know that's a late time, but it's for a routine, which I can talk about in another blog post.  Around 11pm-about 3am...it's me and my husband time.  By setting this time, I can make sure my homework is done by 11pm, my kid is in bed by 11pm, my husband is done with work by 11pm, and things are going to be settling down by then.  It just makes it so I can make time for him, since I have been with my child all day long.

5) Pick a time of day to make time for your child. Morning times are for me and my child.  I make sure that in the morning, that is when I can relax a little and just watch my child play.  I get up when he gets up, and from there on out, it's just us.  This makes it so there is time for my child to spend time with me, and he doesn't feel like mommy isn't around.

6) Cherish the nap times. Nap times are normally when I make time for myself.  My child take anywhere from a 2-3 hour nap a day, and in that couple of hours of window time, I make time for anything that is important to me, like maybe I need to do dishes, or right now, he's taking a nap, so I'm doing a blog post that I wanted to make sure I did today, I go on my ipad and just chill...I watch a tv show...but I make time for myself in this time.  Nap times are great, so use them to your benefit if you can.




Question and thing to think about for the day/week:
So those are what I use to kind of manage the ciaos of life.  In the comments below, what are some things that you do that help you make your life easier?..you don't need to be a mom, a wife...maybe you are a college student, or a high school student and you have a busy life style.  Share in the comments below what you do to help you deal with it all and make time for the important people in your life.

Anxiety...My story, struggles and some helpful hints on dealing with it

Hello everyone and welcome back to another blog post.  Today I want to talk about Anxiety, because it is a disorder, it's real and it's a very serious disorder if you don't know how to take care of it.

So just a little background about anxiety for me.  I have never really had anxiety until I hit about my sophomore year in college.  I was dealing with a lot of things, including my boyfriend at the time just making things really bad for me...and that was my first anxiety attack. Now there are several different anxiety disorders…There’s panic disorder which is where you have feelings of terror or are very scared that just strike at any time and they have no warning.  They are usually known as panic attacks and there are so many symptoms that can arise from that like chest pain, feeling of choking and more.  There's also social anxiety disorder which is basically that you do not do well in public crowds or social situations. There's specific disorder which is where you are afraid of specific things like spiders, ants, airplanes, heights, things like that. And there's generalized anxiety disorder which is where you just worry about things that you don't need to worry about or otherwise unrealistic. Now for me I have generalized anxiety disorder because a lot of times I do worry about things that are unrealistic or not needed to worry about.  When this happens I get dizzy and I cry a lot, I'm miserable, I just think about the worst possible situation and solution, and then I end up getting in a depression stage that if I don’t get out of fast, can really hurt me and last awhile… and at that point I'm just not myself...and that's not normal.  There's not a lot of control that I have, once I get into this state, and most of the time it can come from getting a bad grade in my college class, or getting yelled at by something or whatever.  So all in all, I'm just not very fun to be around and it can really hurt in the end if you cannot find a way to deal with it.  Symptoms can vary depending on the type of anxiety disorder that you have, but here are just some of the ones for general symptoms: feelings of panic, fear, and uneasiness, problems sleeping, cold or sweaty hands and/or feet, shortness of breath, heart palpitations, inability to be still and calm, dry mouth, numbness or tingling in the hands or feet, nausea, Muscle tension, and dizziness.  All of these are to be taken seriously. 

 

Helpful to deal with any type of anxiety disorder:  Now these are my tips from my experience, if you have other tips, feel free to comment below and share.

1) The way that I deal with it is I try to think positive.  If I think positive, then I can normally stop myself from going in anxiety. 

2) Something else that helps is talking about it.  I’m not one to like have people who can fix it for me, I just want some to help talk out my feelings, and then I decide what I’m going to do about it…because I feel that when someone else can help you talk it through with you, you can clearly see there’s no reason to even have to deal with it and you can be happy. 

3) Another thing I love to do that really helps is listening to music.  I don’t know why but music just makes me feel so much better, and it gets me into a better mood. 

4) Also exercising can really help for pretty much anything because of the fact that it’s making you think about your work out and not about what is making you have those anxiety attacks.

5)And if you don’t know what else to do, see a therapist to help you sort of work through your emotions and maybe then you can get on medication or something to help you get through it and happy again, because everyone deserves to be happy.

Question of the day:

How do you deal with anxiety issues? Is there anything that makes you anxious to the point where you sort of freak out and worry about things that worked themselves out anyway?  Share in the comments below

Note: I try not to share things that I haven't experienced yet or researched, so if you would like to me to write a blog post on a specific issue or topic, let me know in the comments below.  I'm not a therapist, these are just my own situations and experiences and how I have dealt with it.

Resources:

**http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/mental-health-anxiety-disorders

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Feeling is the Way to Healing

I haven't blogged in a few days.  Part of that was because I blogged on two days I normally do not blog, another part was because I was spending time with my almost 2 year old, another part was because I was spending time with my husband, and another part of that was because I had a toothache that would not go away...however despite all of that i am back now, and I want to talk about something that I have been thinking about since I saw it. I'm just going to be writing today, I have no idea how it will come out, so if it is too much for you, or it just feels like I'm rambling, or if you don't like when someone just talks, then you don't have to read this.  It's ok...I will completely understand :)

"Feeling is the way to healing"

I saw this saying on twitter by one of my favorite youtubers (Ingrid Nilsen) and I just could not stop thinking about it all week. Every time I thought about writing something about it on this blog, I just couldn't.  But now I can because of the way that I am feeling.  I have been trying to understand how to feel when I am not sure how to feel, therefore since I don't know how to feel, I don't know how to heal. I think a lot, and when I feel something, I really feel it, and I don't forget the feeling.  Some people might say this is a bad thing, and this can be a bad thing, but to me...it's a way of coping with so many issues that I have about myself and with others.  I feel confused, hurt, lost, overjoyed, glad, sad, happy, and all of these feelings really scare me to death.  They are feelings that I can not understand.  They are feelings that I just can't overcome and heal from. I want to, I want to forget about so many things, people, events...but I can't.  I want to not feel like I have lost myself, but that is what I feel. I'm so not connected to who I am anymore...I'm not connected to who was..I'm connected to what I feel inside...and that's destructive.  When I feel...I want to feel...I don't want to let go of anything, I don't want to forget any moment of that feeling.  I don't want to disconnect from the feeling...I want to feel it all...no matter how painful, happy, seductive..loneliness..sad..depressed..confused...I feel...I want to feel it all...The moment when I feel it...is the moment I start to heal. And it's interesting to me, how when you are made to feel something, that is when you have the option to heal from it.  When you see a therapist, or a psychologist...they often make you go back to when you felt the way you felt...sometimes it's a place that you don't want to go back to, that you want to forget, that you feel the most pain in or whatever, and they make you feel it...because when you feel it, you can start to understand it, change it, and heal from it. I'm a fighter, a dreamer, an emotional personal...and my emotions can go all over the place, but when I feel...what I feel, that is when I feel the most alive, and that is when I know I can start to heal.  I know this may not make sense to a lot of you...but I'm just writing today, and this is what I'm writing.  When you feel...Feel to eventually heal...don't feel to linger, but feel to fight and heal whatever is there.  It's ok to cry...just know that when you finally let yourself feel, you can finally let yourself heal.

Question of the week:

Are you ok with "feeling to heal...or do you feel to linger?"  This is a weird question, but I think it can have a really great meaning to someone who actually reads it and thinks about it for awhile.

New Background, New Title, quick blog post: Liam's Favorite Books

Hello again everyone and welcome back.  So some of you may notice I have changed the background and name to my blog.  I did all of this because I have like 10-15 blog post ideas down on a piece of paper and I was noticing that they all gear towards me and my little boy... so I decided if that was the case, that I would change my blog just a little bit.  Hope you all like it because I really do, and my post will still have the things it has on it...like advice, lifestyle things, etc... but also things that are more about me and my little boy that maybe some of you other moms out there can relate to. So let's get into the blog post of the day shall we :)

Liam's favorite books

So these are my son's favorite books.  I read to him every night, and even though he's almost 2 years old, he knows which books he wants to look at for the night.  Since he isn't quite talking yet, reading is great because it can help him learn to talk and develop the speech that he is going to need as he gets old.  Reading can really help a child who is delayed in their speech, like my child.Even though he is almost 2 years old, he still doesn't speak that much, so a good way that I am helping him learn is by reading to him, or letting him pick out his own books at bedtime, and letting him flip through the pages.  He loves doing this throughout the day so it's a great way for him to learn, and a great bonding time for parents and their child(children).


Question of the day:

What are/were your child's/(children's) favorite books? And if you don't have any children, then tell me in the comments what your favorite book/books were as a child.  Comment below :) Also what do you think of the new layout and title?  Does it fit?

Flower Power Baby :)

Flower Art Gallery 

Today's blog post is just pictures of flowers because spring is my favorite season of all.  Hope you all enjoy :)  Oh and just a note, I normally post Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays...that is my schedule...I save Sundays, Mondays and Tuesdays for brainstorming, but today is such a lovely day that I just had to post something.  I also did a redo of my desk, so if any of you want to see that, leave it in the comments below.  All but one of these flowers are fake, because they can not die, and I seem to kill a lot of living flowers I own, for any of you that wanted to know if they looked different, but I still think they are really cute and bright. :)

Question of the day:

What is your favorite season and why?  Leave your answers in the comments below.

Spring

Hello everyone, and this is a new type of blog post, very simple but different.  Hope you all enjoyed it.  Some of the pictures I took myself.  Be blessed today and enjoy this nice spring weather. :)

Letter to my younger self

Hey guys and today on my blog I am going to be writing an open letter to my younger self...so let's get to it :) I am now 25 so this letter will be from when I was 18 to now.

Dear younger Self,

   First of all I want to tell you that I'm proud of you.  You have a beautiful personality that just makes people fall in love with you. I'm proud of you for staying strong. Right now you are going through so many different emotions because of different tragedies and things that are happening and I want you to know that life does get better as you get older.  I'm proud of you for always standing your ground and standing up for what you think is right because in the end, it does pay off.  I want you to know that in the future you will have a beautiful family...a  husband that in his own way, really loves you and a little boy that is so cute and amazing that  all you can do is love him no matter what he does. I want you know that eventually things will work out for the best with your in laws...no matter what the result is, just be strong and don't let the way that they act towards you bring you down or make you feel unworthy because you are an amazing woman, wife, mother, daughter and more. I want you to know that your parents will be your greatest supporters...when you need anything, they will be there.  Right now you are not quite sure what direction your life will go in, and you may have some d-tours down the line, but know that in the future, you will be successful and you will be right where God wants you to be. I want you know that God loves you and he is here for you, and the hurt that you feel right now, will go away because in every rainy season, there is a rainbow at the end...which is a promise from God to you.  But  most importantly, never give up hope, never forget who you are and never lose the smile that just brights up anyone's day.

Love future me :)

Question for the day:

If you could write a letter to your younger self, what would you say?  Now since you know what your life is like, what would you want to tell your younger self?  Leave your answers in the comments.  I also encourage you to write a letter to your younger self, and then read it, to see what you have learned now in your life.

Becoming a CNA (Certified Nursing Assistant) and my experience in working in a nursing home

Intro

Hi everyone and welcome back to my blog "living life without regret." Today we will be discussing becoming a certified nursing assistant and my personal experience in working in a nursing home. I never thought I would ever want to become anyone who worked in a nursing field.  Why...because one...I am deathly afraid of needles and hospitals or anything that may smell like a hospital.  I mean I was shaking when I was in the hospital to when I was having my son...and I was more scared of getting the epidural which I opted out of getting, then actually having my son...funny huh lol So why on earth would I even consider working anywhere where I might see needles or old people?

                        How I became a CNA and What it was like for me:

Well I have been in school for awhile, I got my associates degree in Social Work Management, my bachelors in Psychology and I am currently working on my masters in Health Care Administration.  I was looking for a job while being a stay at home mom and I ended up applying to a nursing home where I used to live. I got accepted and started to train to become a Certified Nursing Assistant.  I didn't realize what was all involved, I thought it was just pretty basic but to my surprise there is so much you really need to know when  you are going to go for that type of job. One of those things is patience.  You need LOTS of patience because you just need to.  There are going to be residents in there that you are not going to know what they want or what they are talking about and it will frustrate you to no end. There's more things to learn, but that's one of the main ones.  I'm not going to go into specifics because you can easily look it up online, because each place you go and take it is different. So I will just tell you about my personal experience. I did my training at the nursing home...we had to do in class work and then clinicals.  Now in class work is basically like quizzes, working on manikins, watching educational dvds about CNA's, learning about pretty much everything that you would need to know including how to take care of a dead person...no joke you actually do, and I did and more.  In class work is really easy...you sometimes work with partners, atleast our class did, you work on the manikin which is really fun, but you also get quizzes which are never fun but it's a way to test what you know.  My class was for about 3 weeks, and before then I was a hospitality aid...which basically you do whatever you are told by the person in charge of you.  It's kind of like interning for your nursing degree...you do whatever you are told no questions asked lol...I was a hospitality aid for about 2-3 weeks, and then the class started.  For the first couple of weeks we pretty much started early in the morning and went into the early afternoon, then the last week it was basically starting in the late afternoon til late at night.  It was tiring...but after the 3 weeks of class, then you take a test which to me was really easy.  Now this test is one that you take at the facility not the complete real one that takes all day.  After the test, the teacher or whoever you have grades it and they let you know if you passed or not...I did...they give you a certificate and then you go on the floor for real this time by yourself with the other already trained CNA's.  This was nerve racking but also really fun because you get to test out what you know...the problem is what you learn in class is completely different then when you actually get out on the floor on your own.  I leaned very quickly what the rhythm was and this was back last May.  I was basically training from July-Nov and then I took my test in Nov.  The real test you take at the red cross and it's again nerve racking.  You take the written test which is filled with everything you have learned and trained, on top of things that were in the books you got, and after that you take a clinical/skills exam which is where they pick 5 skills for you to know, and you have to do them without help from the test giver.  This whole process takes your entire day so never plan on doing anything that day because you will be mentally drained and will want to go home and sleep or eat lol.  After both exams you get your results whether you passed or fail...and you really hope you pass because if you don't you have to go 2 more times...and after that, I believe you have to retake the class.  I passed everything so I was ready to hit the floor for real.  As of Nov 5th, 2015 I was an official CNA.  Now I forgot to mention that after the class, about a week or two after I experienced my first dead person and how to take care of them.  Luckily I had help from a friend to do that.   You do have to wear uniforms, and you do have to pass all exams..so don't think you can just sleep your way through everything if becoming a CNA is what you really want.

                                                                                                                                                

What I learned:

I learned alot from working in a nursing home...1) was to stick up for myself and to not take crap from people.  I'm very easy going and I can be a little quiet, but I learned quickly thanks from the help from some friends and nurses, that you have to stick up for yourself and stand up for what is right.  Not everyone is going to treat you fair and if you feel that something is wrong, and it is wrong, say something about it because if you don't, people will walk right over you and you will be ignored.  I can't tell you how many times I had to stand up for what I thought was right...even if no one else agreed with me...it feels really great and it makes you a better person. 2)  I  learned to take responsibility for what you did...and to never let someone else twist your words or what happened.  I've had this happen, and I learned quickly that I need to speak up for myself and make sure that the truth comes out and that others don't believe a lie because it will come back to bite you in the butt. 3) I  learned to make friends because they will be your support when things don't go well, they will be your back up if something happens and they will be there when you just need a friend or to have a good time.  I made so many friends and I will not forget any of them..including the regular nurses.4) I also learned that even though you say you can or will never do something, give it a try first, you might actually surprise yourself.   Besides all of these things I learned, the job for me was about making sure my residents were safe, happy, comfortable and well taken care of...the residents should come first at all times.  When you don't take your job seriously and think about the well being of the residents, bad things can happen and then not only do you look bad but the facility you work for looks bad too, when you have to answer to that resident's family. And it's bad enough to have to tell them what they don't want to hear from what you know...because as a CNA you can not diagnose them,  but when you also realized you screwed up, it's worse...so TAKE YOUR JOB SERIOUSLY AND REMEMBER THE WELL BEING OF THE RESIDENT ALWAYS COMES FIRST, WHETHER YOU AGREE WITH THE RESIDENT'S FAMILY OR THE NURSES OR NOT,  THE RESIDENTS COME FIRST.

What am I doing now?

Currently I am a stay at home mom again.  I had to quit my job that I liked for personal reasons...but I'm ok with it because I've been able to spend time with my son who is very young.  He has a speech therapist and we are working with him to learn sign language in hopes that he will want to talk soon. I took sign language in high school so it's a very good skill to have. I am happy to announce that he knows how to sign the words "More, Eat, Please, and Help."  He knows how to say "all done, thank you and get."  He knows what and where to go when you say "it's time to brush our teeth, or lets go to bed, or get something to eat."  He knows what a "book" is, what a "toothbrush" is what his "cup" is, what his "stroller" is and more.  He loves to color with his markers or a pen or pencil, he loves to eat normal food, we no longer have him on baby food and he's just a very energetic toddler. So am I happy I had to quit my job...well I'm not going to jump up and down, but I am ok with the decision that we have made and I love watching Liam grow up and learn new things. Will I ever go back to work, yes, maybe not as a CNA but eventually I will go back to work,  but for now and the situation that has occurred, I am currently happy.

Note: 

This job is not for everyone...and as for me...I do not regret ever deciding to do that type of job...it taught me a lot and I'm grateful I had the opportunity to learn something I thought I would never do. And if you think that your job is easier, and that CNA's are lazy and don't do anything, trying working as one and then we will see if you say that again.

Resource:

http://nursingassistantguides.com/what-is-a-certified-nursing-assistant-cna/

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Question of the blog:

Have you done something that you thought you would never do?  Worked in a place you thought you would never work in, go down a career path that you thought you would never do? Leave it in the comments about your experience :)